Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Dear God, I think about the day ahead, and the tasks and activities it holds. My reaction is not dramatically positive nor negative: I have a feeling of equanimity. Yesterday was marked by fear and elation. From where did this neutrality come?

Lord, let me not examine too closely why I feel one way or another. I used to analyze myself with gusto, under the illusion that if only I knew why I felt as I did, I would then overcome my toxic inner feelings. It never occurred to me that, if I wanted improved self-esteem, I must do esteemable things. Improved attitude comes to me as a result of right action.

Lord, let me have gratitude for the neutrality you have provided – but let me not live too aloof from this world. Staying neutral is attractive, since it is safe and affords a measure of comfort. But in this world I must act.

Let me live as a member of humanity, doing your will moment to moment. Let my actions be for the benefit of those around me. Let me not be selfish in outlook.

Let me seek your will today, O Lord. Let me not glide and coast, but exert myself on your behalf.

Let me be your beast of burden, carrying the load you set upon my back. Let me do your will unquestioningly.

(Letter #875)