Sunday, May 21, 2017

Dear God, I have so much for which to be grateful. Yet I ignore it all in favor of dwelling on some fear about what may transpire later. And of what am I truly fearful? In examining my attitude, I find not that I am afraid I will not know what to do, nor that I will not be up to the task. No. I am merely scared that I will face discomfort and difficulty.

Lord, I see this fear clearly. It is the secret, small fear hidden in all my grand thoughts about my supposed anxieties.

It all boils down to a worry that I will be uncomfortable. That someone may criticize me and it will not be pleasant. That some eventuality will occur and I will have to act. That something I think I need will be taken from me, and I will have to work to regain it. That something I want will not be delivered to me, and I will have to do without.

These fears – this one selfish fear – is laughable when seen in this light. Lord, let me retain this perspective. All this worry is truly bondage to self. I am imprisoned by my self-regard.

You, glorious you, can save me. Let me seek to help others today. Let me bend my exertions toward your will. Let me eagerly seek and enthusiastically do your bidding today. Let this crowd out my selfish habits of thought.

(Letter #872)

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Dear God, you know my every thought, my every intention, my every secret. You know how strong is my desire to be a better person than I am and how, deep in my core, how strong are the forces that urge me to fall short. I am at war with self, and you know this even before I admit it.

Lord, strengthen my higher self and weaken the selfish, small part of my intentions.

Lord, let me feel your protective mantle. You are my shield, the roof over my head. I am so vulnerable, in truth. Without you I am exposed and naked.

How, my dear God, can I think more of others, even when I am fearful for my own fate? How can I place self-satisfaction behind service to my fellows? I want to have these right intentions, but if I am honest with myself, I am still seeking my own comfort and advancement.

Let me, Lord, find you under the mire within me. Grow inside my heart, and blot out the self-regard that bedevils me.

(Letter #871)

Friday, May 19, 2017

Dear God, such storms I have encountered. I feel as if I have been buffeted for days and, this morning, I have a chance at calm. I may have some breathing room today.

Lord, it is vexing that my inner state is so controlled by circumstances.

You would have me do your will under all conditions, not just when it is easy. If this is truly my aim, to seek and do your will, then I will have equanimity. Can I feel that, even amidst turmoil? A day of respite can provide a reminder of how I might more productively comport myself on other days.

Lord, let me feel your calm. You rescued me before and you will continue to do so. Let me rely on you this day and all days. Let me feel your steadfast power as the ground beneath my feet, permanent and unmovable.

Let me be grateful for the solid rock upon which you allow me to stand.

(Letter #870)

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Dear God, let my relationship with you be more than just an idea. Let me depend on you wholly. As I consider the day ahead, let me do more than simply imagine that you might help me. Let me trust you as a child would. Let me take your hand and be guided.

I face difficult interactions today. I can imagine myself the victim in them. But this reduces those around me to fictional characters, cartoons. The truth is, that others have awakened this morning with the same uncertainty before the day. None of us know how our time will unfold. Others must surely have fear and worry equal to mine.

Lord, let me view all my dealings today as opportunities to come to others’ aid.

You have granted me the grace of your love. I feel it. This is something not everyone has as of yet. Let me share it, the way I would share an umbrella.

Let me accept your will for me today, without reluctance. Even adversity is sent by you, and so it must surely be a gift. Let me be eager to receive all you deliver. Let me seek and do your will today.

(Letter #869)

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Dear God, it is morning. Day breaks. I fear what it may bring, and what tomorrow, and tomorrow’s tomorrow, may bring. When I am in such a state, I survey the future near and far, seeking all the potentials for terror that I can.

What futility – living in the future, afraid, when today is all around me.

Lord, in this moment you have provided all I need. A body. A roof. Family and friends. Resources. The difference between the future I fear, and my present safety, is stark.

Grant me a better attitude. Grant me this present moment. Let me place my attention here and now, that I may do your will here and now, rather than squander the very life you grace me with. Let me see these worries as the foolish termites they are.

Today. This day. This moment. This is where I live. Let me be present.

(Letter #868)

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Dear God, as I face the day, I am uncertain and afraid. I worry about how people in authority will treat me, and whether I will be up to the tasks they set. I worry they will judge me poorly.

Lord, let me see the selfishness and pride that lives at the center of these fears. I fear loss of status and standing. That is all. What a narrow thing to be concerned with.

God, expand my mind and heart. Let me take my eyes off of myself and place them on others. Let me see every situation as an opportunity to be helpful to all those around me – helpful to the weak as well as the powerful.

Let me not pick and choose which tasks I perform in your name, but do them all with equal diligence and abandon.

Take away this fear, O Lord, and leave in its place willingness.

(Letter #867)

Monday, May 15, 2017

Dear God, I have so many defects and spiritual shortcomings. They distort my soul and being. Lord, remove from me all these defects that stand in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows.

For this to happen, Lord, I know I must be entirely ready. Let me not take pleasure in my shortcomings, but see them for what they are: flaws to be removed. There is nothing attractive about my pride, selfishness, sloth — let me be eager for them to be burned away.

If I draw near to you, Lord, you will draw near to me and improve my character. Let me wish for this. Let me do this.

Thy will be done today.

(Letter #866)

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Dear God, the blessings you shower upon me are sometimes worldly but far more often they are interior gifts. Knowledge of love. Ability to empathize. Feeling of equanimity in the face of challenges.

The trials you send my way are there to allow a demonstration of these inner resources which are your true gifts.

Chief among these gifts is the connection I have with you, my dear, sweet Lord. Seeking you daily, a relationship has grown. Let me feel you with me, right next to me, all throughout this day.

(Letter #865)

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Dear God, let me risk it all for you. Let me seek your will without regard to my perceived well being. I face pressures and feel anxiety over what may befall me. Let me see these circumstances as part of your plan for me.

You are granting me the ability to empathize. You are strengthening me. Let me dive into the work you set before me, this glorious training, with enthusiasm.

You are building me.

Lord, let me seek your will today. Let me enthusiastically do your bidding. Thy will be done.

(Letter #864)

Friday, May 12, 2017

Dear God, I have offered up my life to you. Yet I doubt, sometimes, that all will indeed be well. I question your guidance. I resist. As my faith slips away, my actions become ever more selfish, my motives ever more self-serving.

Lord, let me uphold this decision I made long ago. Let me reaffirm it daily. I offer myself to you and place myself under your care.

My small self fears what may become of me and my loved ones. Let me place even this fear in your hands. Let my faith be enough to trust in you and your power.

Let me desire your will for me.

(Letter #863)