Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Dear God, facing a day filled with tasks and obligations, I become anxious. I fear I have not prepared sufficiently, and that this will become apparent. My work will be judged wanting, and I will lose status in the eyes of my colleagues and superiors.

While the particular contours of this fear feel unique to this moment, this set of circumstances, it is in fact an archetype. This is the pattern of almost all my fear – it gets down to apprehension over my status. I face this fear on a regular basis. This new example I face today is nothing out of the ordinary.

I am bound to this fear by my sense of self, my insistence on perceiving myself as the center of all things. Lord, let my attitude grow. Let my understanding grow. Let me see my feelings for what they are: reflections of my spiritual shortcomings.

The fearless path forward is for me to ask how I can best be of service today. How can I be useful? What task may I perform for you, O Lord? Yet instead I concern myself with rankings. Please, Lord, correct my thinking today.

(Letter #986)