Monday, January 8, 2018

Dear God, test me. Afflict me. Let my dependence on you buoy me and lighten me no matter the weights piled atop me.

I feel your love so deeply – every worry, care, or misgiving I have is delivered by you to guide me away from yet worse trouble, and to impel me toward greater growth. Thus even my sorrows are joy.

Some days you shower me with feelings of happiness, others with hardship. Yet with my narrow view I cannot rightly discern which is which. Does this closed door stymie me, or is it saving me from calamity? Is this new opportunity my reward, or is it meant to test me? My perception is selfish, narrow, and I cannot see down the road further than the first turning.

Lord, bring me faith. Test me, that it may grow and carry me over greater obstacles. Let this strength, your strength, bring me deep serenity.

(Letter #1104)