Dear God, as I try to order my affairs so that I can best be your instrument, doing your work among my fellows, I struggle to discern when you are preparing me for some later trial, and when the time is nigh and you call me to act with vigor.
Are you using me or training me? The challenges with which I am presented cause me fear. I am worried at how high the stakes may be.
Lord, O Lord, deliver me equanimity! This arrives wrapped in faith, on those few occasions when I experience it.
Let me not look too deeply into the happenings around me; let me not ask so many impertinent questions; let me view the training ground, the factory floor, and the field of battle as equal.
Let me center my thinking and actions on living a life of faith. This, my project. Let this be the glowing core of my life, an ember warming me as I shiver in fear at the largeness of the world.
Thy will be done.