Dear God, I have cried out to you so many times. The list of my pleas is long. Like a child, I ask and ask.

Lord, let me see clearly how you already have graced me with unimagined providence. I need not wait for some later satisfaction. Piled all around me are the gifts I need. My portion for the day is already in my hands. And yet I cry out for more, disguising greed under a cloak of weakness.

Let me arise, stand erect, stride forward with your power at my full disposal, your wind at my back.

I need not hope for some improved future. I already inhabit it. Let me recognize and give thanks for these treasures.

(Letter #1107)

Dear God, my whole attitude and outlook upon life have changed. You have made me, slowly, inexorably, starting from the inside working out. Scraping away at the useless bits and superfluous pieces.

I am so very far from being whom you would have me be, from consistently acting as you would have me act. I am selfish, prideful, slothful. But in truth, I am far from where I used to be, too. You have placed me on the way.

O Lord, I have no choice but to keep walking forward, for I fear the tragedy if I were to turn back! Let me show and live gratitude for refashioning my life and existence.

Who am I? I am yours. Thank you for taking me.

(Letter #1106)

Dear God, let me take single, slow steps today. You do not ask me to carry more than one day’s burden and I dare not try to carry tomorrow’s load for it may crush me. But so, too, must I look to this hour only, saving the next hour’s tasks for their time.

Step-by-step, Lord, you walk with me. I am like a wanderer walking a stony path: each footfall requires care lest I turn an ankle. I hold your hand, you light my way, you mark the safe course.

Lord, let me depend utterly on you in each moment. Let my devotion to each slow step crowd out worry over later challenges. Your grace will provide what I need, right now. Let me seek no more than that.

(Letter #1105)

Dear God, test me. Afflict me. Let my dependence on you buoy me and lighten me no matter the weights piled atop me.

I feel your love so deeply – every worry, care, or misgiving I have is delivered by you to guide me away from yet worse trouble, and to impel me toward greater growth. Thus even my sorrows are joy.

Some days you shower me with feelings of happiness, others with hardship. Yet with my narrow view I cannot rightly discern which is which. Does this closed door stymie me, or is it saving me from calamity? Is this new opportunity my reward, or is it meant to test me? My perception is selfish, narrow, and I cannot see down the road further than the first turning.

Lord, bring me faith. Test me, that it may grow and carry me over greater obstacles. Let this strength, your strength, bring me deep serenity.

(Letter #1104)

Dear God, let me cultivate silence. Let this reflect my devotion to you. Let me refrain from selfishly filling the world with ephemeral musings and childish realizations.

Let me have faith that you will fill all spaces that call for it. Let me not speak unless impelled by your clear hand.

Let me surrender this, my most treasured faculty, to you, as a sacrifice: let me withhold speech.

(Letter #1103)

Dear God, O my beneficent ruler! Take me by the hand and lead me where you would have me begin my work. I cannot know the tasks beforehand, nor the outcome, nor your purpose — let me simply act as guided.

I am powerless over all these things around me: these circumstances, these comings and goings of others, these moods that fall upon me like storms or drift by me like mists. These outcomes.

Let me feel this personally, not as fiction or concept but as fact. Let my powerlessness open the way to complete, utter surrender to your will. Abandon.

Let me, O Lord, approach this day without expectation, even without hope. Empty and waiting, willing to be led. Let me have total surrender and see this morning through eyes of wonder.

Where will you place me today, my dear Lord? Let me do your will in that spot.

(Letter #1102)

Dear God, let me eagerly give it all away. Let me expend all of my energy and resources pursuing your will. Let me welcome poverty and depletion; you will only refill me when I am empty.

I look to periods of deprivation with fear. I squander periods of plenty on selfish expenditures of funds, time, and effort.

God, my dear Lord, direct my mind and intentions. Let me first seek your will. When I have resources, let me abandon myself to pursuing you. When I have lack, let me then devote myself to trusting in you ever more intently.

Let me, in this way, be fully devoted. All in.

(Letter #1101)

Dear God, I perceive my burdens to be so large, when in reality you only ask me to carry a small load and that for just one day. The weight is therefore small.

Let me see rightly, let me see that all is well, that I am more than sufficient to my tasks. Let me see this truth.

Let me live with gratitude that the world is not ordered as I fear it could be – that, instead, I inhabit your mansion, as your servant, amply provided for.

(Letter #1100)

Dear God, I think mostly of myself. How I will get ahead, how circumstances affect me, how I can be happy. Such a narrow pursuit, such a flawed outlook.

Lord, grant me a better attitude. Let it be my mission to improve conditions for all those around me. Let me not think of myself so much. Let me place the well-being of others ahead of my own selfish considerations.

Thy will be done.

(Letter #1099)

Dear God, let me bear others’ burdens. Let me lighten their load. Let this be my pursuit today: to help others.

Every problem I may think I have, every trial, let me lay it at your feet. Let me heap every problem onto your carpet, trusting you will address them. You lighten my burden, O Lord, so I can then assist others.

Let me give without thought of my own woes. Let me, today, be a dynamo of industry, building a community of love. Brick by brick, let me carry the loads of my fellows.

(Letter #1098, year four begins)