Monday, May 25, 2020

You test me. Why?

I grow and grow, my limbs ache and I am awkward. I learned to crawl, then to walk. To speak, then to sing. I have barely learned to grasp a stick, and you call me to tie ribbons in the hair of children.

Lord, I am afraid of these new tasks you set, afraid I will be unable. Afraid my insufficiency will be seen and judged.

The test is not the test. You call me to trust you even in lack.

Let me live as your child.

(Letter #1,962)

Sunday, May 24, 2020

What you give to me, I squander on myself. The energy, the time, the supply – all spent on sustaining my own aims.

Let me give it all away. Let me give unto exhaustion, unto day’s end, unto emptiness.

Lord, you will fill this vessel only when empty. Let me pour nourishment on this land.

(Letter #1,961)

Saturday, May 23, 2020

Let me shun the spotlight.

Let me take no credit.

Let me build up others.

If my way be stony, let me clear the path, let those behind me find smooth walking.

Let me be a custodian of the world for my fellows.

O Lord, thy will be done through me today.

(Letter #1,960)

Friday, May 22, 2020

At dawn, in the dark, I worry over the coming day and I beg for solace. You soothe me, and I cling to it as a life raft.

Yet now is not when I need you. No winds buffet, no arrows land. It is just me and my worry.

It is in the heat of the day that I will need your aid. When the battle mounts, the flood invades, the buildings collapse. Lord, send me strength to do your will when all is chaos.

But now, in my quiet worry, let me learn acceptance. It is all I need now.

(Letter #1,959)

Thursday, May 21, 2020

I am rowing, yet what little effect my effort has compared to the winds that you blow.

The road is the road, my walking on the left or the right offers only the illusion of choice.

Lord, my true choice is this: to get into agreement with you, or to wage useless battle.

I feel the wind, I see the curve in the road. Let me go their way.

(Letter #1,958)

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

What is victory? Is it conquest over others? Over conditions?

Let my victory today be over self. Let me assist others from the margins, without taking center stage. Let me be anonymous.

Grant me humility, O Lord.

(Letter #1,957)

Tuesday, May 19, 2020

I am worried whether I will be enough. Will I know what to do or say? Will my energy suffice? Will I have lacked discipline?

Lord, your will for me is inexorable. I will come to rest where you have ordained, regardless of whether it feels as if the day was successful or a failure.

Why, then, must I fret? Self-regard dogs me and I wish for praise, comfort, ease.

Let me walk in the direction you point.

(Letter #1,956)