Thursday, April 30, 2020

Tomorrow is a fiction. I will never see it.

This day, how will I spend it? Will I squander it on worry? On self-consolation? On remorse over yesterday?

Lord, there is a blank canvas stretched over the day. When I retire, let it not remain empty.

(Letter #1,937)

Tuesday, April 28, 2020

I hunt for a map before I set out to face the day, and food for the journey. How else to guarantee my arrival?

Lord, awaken me from this fugue. Start my feet moving. I need no map; you will order my steps. I need no supplies; you will sustain me.

I hesitate. I am fearful. I am obstinate. What if the road is hard? What if I encounter hunger?

Grant me a full measure of willingness, Lord. Thy will be done.

(Letter #1,935)

Monday, April 27, 2020

If I am water, let me be a stream, with a direction, a beginning, an end. Let me be no swamp, nor puddle.

Let me flow to you, Lord, clear and babbling across the stones. The brook laughs as it skips toward the lake. The lake sighs as it feeds a mighty river, marching home to the ocean.

Let me laugh; eventually I am going home.

(Letter #1,934)

Sunday, April 26, 2020

When, Lord, do I labor for you, and when for myself? Are my energies misspent, and how might I know?

I am the bewildered one. How, then, ought I act?

Lord, grant me clear orders. Compel me. I live in ignorance of your plans. My own designs always place me at the center, a drunken spider in his web.

Let me follow you, let me not second-guess the path, let my hands work of their own accord, moved by you.

Let my selfish thoughts watch on, impotent and spinning. Thy will be done.

(Letter #1,933)

Saturday, April 25, 2020

That which I fear, I will soon enough welcome.

That which vexes me, will soon enough make me smile.

That which I wish to conquer, will soon enough overcome me.

I am shackled to this misshapen self.

Lord, let me become open to all these transformations. Let them wash over me, now, today, this moment.

Why wait to abandon fear and resentment? Swallow me in love, let me become it.

(Letter #1,932)

Friday, April 24, 2020

By looking at the path, I cannot tell where it leads. The well-worn way, does it take its walker to an oasis? Does it end tragically at a cliff, deceiving so many who have come before?

The right way may look overgrown and little-used.

My own senses are not enough, Lord. Set my feet in the right direction.

Let me heed your call to walk down even the paths that frighten me.

(Letter #1,931)

Tuesday, April 21, 2020

The life that I am putting on, this person I am trying to be – feels at times ill-fitting and unfamiliar.

Lord, let me act as you call me to do whether it suits or not. Let me cheerfully fulfill my obligations and duties even as I would rest idle and pursue diversion.

My selfish heart bristles at the humble discipline you call for.

Burn away the unnecessary, Lord, and leave me bare to you.

(Letter #1,928)