Weeds here in my thoughts. My inner life in disarray.

Order me, Lord. Husband my thinking, that I may walk through this world with eyes clear and hands unsullied. Let my steps take me in a useful direction.

Let, Lord, my heart be loving.

(Letter #1,836)

Of what is there for me to give thanks? Indeed, is there anything for which I ought not have gratitude?

Rain, penury, trial – even these fit together like a mosaic to teach me. Lord, make me thankful for my difficulties, for they were prepared and delivered by you.

It is so dark. This allows me to see the dawn, about to break. Thank you, Lord, for what is just around the corner.

(Letter #1,835)

Let me be helpful today.

This one who comes to me, troubled — let me give words of cheer.

This one who comes to me, needy — let me give aid.

This one who comes to me, overjoyed — let me share in it.

All these ones in despair — let me tell the story of how you crept upon me with hope.

(Letter #1,834)

Let me meet the worry of the day with sweet concern. Urgency with deliberate care. Desperation with methodical practice.

I have a garden plot. I do not do the growing for these green shoots. I water and weed the soil. My greatest virtues here are patience, consistency, and loving devotion.

Lord, let me walk slowly and with care in the face of all that is frantic.

(Letter #1,833)

I try to make myself willing to hear you, but O how I fail short!

Every moment finds me looking for ways to be safe and to gain advantage. If this happens, then I shall do that.

Lord, let me be willing to hear you. When you bid me fail publicly, when you bid me redouble backbreaking labor, let me do all this with a smile.

This planning and preparing, Lord, what good can come of it? Is it not simply the building of sand castles, to be overcome by the tide?

(Letter #1,832)

Tomorrow frightens me. Yesterday fills me with regret. Each is imaginary. Why, then, do I give them such power? It is I who invites them into this moment, to ruin it and chew at its foundations.

Lord, you will give me what is required to meet tomorrow when it naturally arrives. Let me attend to what you have delivered today.

(Letter #1,831)

Let me see all the ways that love of self motivates my actions.

In seeking safety, advancement, comfort. In gossip over others’ shortcomings. In planning out every step of the day for fear you will forsake me.

Let me see the self-love at the center of all of this, Lord. Grant me willingness that it be burnt out of me.

Let me stand blinking in the sunlight with fresh, pink skin. Make me a new person, beginning at my core.

(Letter #1,830)