Friday, March 31, 2018

Dear God, let me do more. Let me see how much farther there is for me to go.

I congratulate myself on the small progress I make here and there, yet in truth it is all so trivial. My habits are in order, yet my mind remains unruly. My behavior is not filled with transgressions, yet my will is so selfish. Even as I present a placid countenance, my intentions seethe and boil.

O my Lord, discipline my interior! Burn away this self-regard, this willfulness.

Set me aflame, dear Lord. Grant me energy, let me set about offering joy to all the world. Let this effort crowd out my inner self, this fiction. Let me become nothing but faith, nothing but devotion.

You are balm to the world, Lord. How dare I withhold your spirit? Let me work and work again, harder, to pass on your warmth.

(Letter #1176)

Friday, March 30, 2018

Dear God, how have you already saved me? How indeed have you already arranged the day for my benefit? Let me see everything around me as a gift from you. Let me look and look again, moment by moment, and see your sunlight shining upon me. Warming me.

When I do not see you, it is my own vision at fault. When I feel I am in darkness, it is only because my eyes are closed.

Let me open my eyes to you. There you are, warmly loving me in each instant.

Lord, let me awaken.

(Letter #1175)

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Dear God, I sit in secret and call to you, seek you. I cry out for you.

When you draw near, I am exhilarated. The feeling overwhelms me and I want more. But it is a fruitless chase. I cannot force your arrival. Days, weeks become deserts as I search and wait for you, praying ever harder yet without true surrender, chasing after the exhilaration of your presence.

Lord, let me relax everything that is contracted. Let me open. Let me trust that you are coming, quietly, without trumpets and drama.

Let me learn to shun the exhilaration I used to seek. Give me, instead, quiet dependence.

The windswept mountaintop, O Lord, is no longer for me. Let me take joy in this quiet room. Draw near to me here.

(Letter #1174)

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Dear God, let me listen for you today. I distract myself with my own thoughts. I inwardly pursue my individual aims wherever they take me. My thoughts go so far afield.

Lord let my thoughts center on seeking you. Let me not distract myself.

Thy will be done today.

(Letter #1173)

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Dear God, I am like a pond with no outlet, thinking of myself and my petty concerns. I seek your strength, yet for such small things. What a misuse of this time, of this earthly body. I seek merely to survive, to improve my position – Lord, let my aims improve.

Grant me supply, O Lord. Bring to me a new view of life and of my place in it. Let me give to others, let me spread your love widely. Let me think of my own needs and doings last. You have always supported me in all things, brought me here, safely. Why, therefore, do I insist on taking my security first in line? If I stand last, if I receive last, then I am still saved nonetheless.

Let my life have outlet. Let me be a source of comfort to others. I will be taken care of soon enough.

Let others stand before me in line.

(Letter #1172)

Monday, March 26, 2018

Dear God, I consider the day ahead.

Please divorce my thoughts from selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. Let me have true concern for others, let me be fully honest, let me not be envious, let me have true and deep faith.

The day towers ahead of me, and as I look ahead I feel so many fears. Of what do they consist? Simply, anxiety over having obligations. I wish to sit idle, rest without requirement – so every duty therefore feels insurmountable.

Lord, let me have energy. Fill me with industry and willingness. Thy will be done.

(Letter #1171)

Sunday, March 25, 2018

Dear God, thank you, O Lord, for drawing near to me. For so long I have sought you and pursued you with desperation. Never did I find you. I look back and see now that it is you who found me.

I am sorely tempted to attribute my faith to effort on my part, to my persistent prayer, to my daily attempt to live as you would have me do. In truth, these attitudes are prideful and false. I cannot say I hold faith due to any special virtue – no, you snuck up upon me. You came to me without warning, without announcement. I simply realized one day that I believe, and that I had for some time.

Your arrival in my life has no date nor duration. You are here, with me. You have always been and always will be. You, Lord, are my supply, my source, my root.

Let me rise from here and glide through the day blown by your wind. Let me seek nothing, but instead exist in expectation of your support. Take away my pride and selfishness, my self-regard, my self-congratulation.

You gave yourself to me as a gift —the same gift to make available to all. You will come to others. To all of us. We need but open our eyes to see you.

Let me be awake to you, O Lord. Let me awaken my fellows, nudging them with the good news.

You are here! You always have been.

(Letter #1170)