On persevering. (Sunday Reflection)

I have been thinking about what it feels like to go through things that I perceive as difficult.

Lately I’ve had a number of such experiences. Some have lasted months, some weeks, and some days. Sometimes I find myself just emerging from one such stretch, only to realize I’m still in the middle of another, deeper one.

Cycles within cycles.

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As I have matured, I have learned that most things begin and eventually end. And that my attitude towards beginnings, middles, and ends is predictably regular. I greet the new hardship with resistance. I settle into the middle with a kind of weary endurance. And when the end comes, sometimes abruptly, I find myself surprised by peace.

I know now that the get-through is real. And that once I get to the other side of it, there will be relief, growth.

We try, when we are our higher selves, to live in the moment. Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow a fiction. But it is also true that this too shall pass. Knowing this, knowing that however I feel about things today is fleeting, is sometimes the only thing I can hold on to.

Because it is on the other side of the get-through that peace and growth come to me. Knowing this provides the hope I need in the moment of difficulty.

Some of my friends know I do yoga. My partner’s teacher points out that “the pose you don’t want is the pose you need.” We practice yoga, in part, to learn to get through the hard part with greater equanimity.

Pushing through, persevering. Sometimes that is just where we are at, whether in the medical, emotional, financial, spiritual, or other realm. I have experienced the get-throughs in all of these spaces. If I can keep mind other, similar times, I find that, more and more, I can get through these dips.

The trick, I’m learning, is to remember. To know that I’ve made it before. And that I can again.

– from the mountain

Consider:

What am I going through today, that I know will pass?

Reading:

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” — Maya Angelou

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“The best way out is always through.” — Robert Frost

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“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” — Psalm 30:5 KJV

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Let me again enjoy your skies.

O the skies! Bright sun, clear blue.

Let me stand a while, Lord, under your skies, arms outstretched and face upturned.

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It has been so long since I have enjoyed the sun this way.

This joy, let it endure and become a grateful life.

– from the mountain

Consider:

What have I missed, that I now can enjoy?

Reading:

“Nothing is worth more than this day.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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They add up.

I leave these small devotions by the lakeside, piling tiny act upon tiny act. A word, a glance, a thought.

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They grow. They add up.

Lord, let me store away thanksgiving that I may draw upon your grace in need.

Today is a day of small gratitudes.

– from the mountain

Consider:

What small treasures am I building?

Reading:

“The sun, with all those planets revolving around it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do.” — Galileo Galilei

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“To see a world in a grain of sand and a heaven in a wild flower.” — William Blake

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“Everything that is, is holy.” — Thomas Merton

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All of creation smiles.

The skies are vast, looking over acre upon acre. Quickened heart, as I walk under your gaze.

The vastness brings quiet peace. All of Creation smiles upon me, yet inside it is the small knowledge of your love and grace that buoys me. Breath by breath your peace settles on me.

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Big doings. Small mercies.

Lord, let this quiet and sweet love stay with me today. Let me not conquer mountains but instead breathe with ease.

– from the mountain

Consider:

What small things are masquerading as big things?

Reading:

“O Light invisible, we praise Thee!” — T.S. Eliot

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