Dear God, my self-assessment is almost always wrong. My feelings are frequently unconnected with reality. It goes in both directions: I feel on top of the world, performing perfectly, all the while ignoring significant shortcomings – or, I feel in the depths of despair, a failure, while I ignore and diminish those things at which I am succeeding. Rarely, if ever, do I see myself correctly.
Lord, let me pursue your will for me regardless of whether this is accompanied by elation or despair. Let me be consistent, and put in consistent effort. My emotions divert me. I seek to amplify the good and run from the unpleasant. All this is a distraction from seeking your will.
Seeking your will is the proper exertion of my own will – irrespective of my own perceptions. Lord, this is true freedom from the bondage of self.
My dear God, let me gladly accept what you show me about myself. Let the recognition of my shortcomings spur me to improve, and let my feelings of success energize me with joy to spread to my fellows. Let me steadfastly seek your will, moment to moment, day after day.
Let this day be one among many, filled with your love, yet at the same time unremarkably similar to the ones before and after. Thy will be done.
(Letter #840)
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