Sunday, July 9, 2017

Dear God, I awaken agitated, thinking for the most part about myself. I am fearful of what may happen, what interactions I will be a part of, what I may be called on to do.

When I closely examine my worries, I see that pride and ego lie at the center of them.

I am fearful that my standing among my fellows will be diminished – or, indeed, that is not so high as I like to believe. I am fearful that some reversal will take place that will alter my life. I am afraid that I will be found out to be an imposter, unworthy. Even when my worry reflects concern for others, as when I am fearful about what may happen to a loved one, the fear is really based on anxiety about how I will feel about what happens to them.

Everything comes back to this. Self-centered thinking.

Lord, please improve my thinking. Get my attitude right. Reprogram me. Take my thoughts and make them into something positive.

I could, indeed, just as easily focus on positive aspects of my circumstances as negative. Instead of fearing that I may lose standing, I can be glad for those friends that I have. Instead of worrying about must what must be done today, I can be enthusiastically curious about what I may get to do next.

God, I know that I cannot change my thinking all by myself. Change me. Guide my thoughts, heal my mind. Grant me knowledge of your will for me, and make me willing to act in conformance to it. Please deliver to me a sign of guidance.

Let me please remember that you offer joy. To be miserable, anxious, fretful – this is all my own option. But I can also choose joy. Help me to do so, O Lord.

(Letter #921)