Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Dear God, these distractions, vexations, these trials – let me find it in my heart to be thankful for all. You have delivered each moment to me along with its content, placed it here, and me before it, for a reason. Physical pain, material privation, emotional upset – all planned and presented to me as a gift.

Lord, O Lord – let me see rightly. Let me see all the ways you save me and build me, all the ways you spur me to grow from child to adult. Even at the end of a blind alley, you place a door.

Who am I to imagine that I need rescue? I become fearful, but these looming figures are simply shadows. I steel myself, yet my strength is never called for. I prepare myself for disappointment, and yet gifts are showered upon me.

Only under self-sufficiency do I falter. Lord, grant me dependence. Let me give thanks for my surrender.

(Letter #1165)