Thursday, April 5, 2018

Dear God, I waste so much energy wondering whether I will be up to the tasks that I face. I fear failure and inadequacy. Yet the truth is that, even in failure, you have always supported me. My fear, if I look at it honestly and with clear eyes, is that I will experience discomfort, that I will not get something I want, that I will lose something I wish to keep, or that others will judge me poorly.

Such small worries, when put in those terms. So selfish, I could not imagine speaking them aloud with any seriousness. Instead, I dress them up with careful words and offer them as prayer.

Lord, let me please see myself clearly. Let me be honest to myself about my inner life. Improve me.

(Letter #1181)