Monday, May 14, 2018

Dear God, I am so unsettled, a raw nerve. I try to calm myself through prayer, through meditation and mindfulness. The truth is that my thoughts race. I consider every event of the day, turning it over and over in my mind. How will I fare? What will others think? How will they judge me?

O Lord, grant me equanimity! I tremble in fear of what may come, the peace I have felt in the past flies away like a bird. Come back to me, sweet dove.

Lord, it is not you who has left me, but I you. I have drawn inward, curling self around self until the whole landscape is but a reflection of my inner thoughts. I shiver.

Lord, awaken me. Open my eyes and let me see the warm sunlight in which I have been basking all along.

Set my mind aright. I think too much of self. Pierce my veil of self-absorption; let me step outside of self and into the land of my fellows.

Help me, Lord.

(Letter #1220)