Friday, May 25, 2018

Dear God, I sit still and wait for guidance. Listening, listening. So often, Lord, I hear nothing. I am left wondering which way to go, with no clear guidance. And the trials of the world, they enter and weigh on me.

Here in my rooms, even as I seek you, I feel so alone, tested, vulnerable. Have you left me? Will you not save me?

My body impels me forward. I breathe, without conscious intention but inexorably. Hunger drives me to eat, thirst to drink. I walk, I move. On these days, Lord, you give me a path forward: to do that which I must, even if the bare minimum.

And then the skies open with sunlight. In the midst of subsistence, someone else crosses my path. They have needs that I can fulfill.

I see, Lord, that you have spared me and my energies for these moments. Your guidance is to wait and trust – I will yet be useful to others. I will yet be able to spread love.

Lord, let me maintain myself, a sharpened tool in your cabinet. Let me be ready and act when you call me to action.

(Letter #1231)