Friday, July 27, 2018

Dear God, am I grateful enough? I so often seek aid, support, and a feeling of safety and comfort. These things come to me without fail, and my faith has grown by this experience. I know you provide what is needed. This knowledge brings me peace.

At day’s end, how do I express gratitude? Indeed, how do I do so throughout the day, in the midst of your many instances of rescue and support?

The answers to these questions are a bitter pill. I intend gratitude, I mouth the words, but too often it is an ill-fitting cloak I am wearing. I so readily receive. I even give easily to others. But the fundamental feeling of grateful custodianship eludes me so frequently.

What I pass on was never mine. I merely transfer your love to others. I worry the supply is limited, that I will tire, that I will run out. I act as if I generate what I distribute.

Lord! You are a vast lake without bottom. How dare I congratulate myself for these cups of water I hand out? My little dippers are already all around, anyone could have them. How dare I complain of fatigue? So many thirst more than me, and indeed if necessary I myself can drink of this water.

Lord, make me into a being of gratitude. Make me willing to give it all away, everything, unto the bone. Let this be my way of giving thanks.

Thank you.

(Letter #1294)