I try to make myself willing to hear you, but O how I fail short!
Every moment finds me looking for ways to be safe and to gain advantage. If this happens, then I shall do that.
Lord, let me be willing to hear you. When you bid me fail publicly, when you bid me redouble backbreaking labor, let me do all this with a smile.
This planning and preparing, Lord, what good can come of it? Is it not simply the building of sand castles, to be overcome by the tide?
(Letter #1,832)