What changed?

The same sun rose today as yesterday, over the same field, and shone through the same library window where I sit in the morning.

Yesterday was I despondent, today am I anticipating great things. What changed?

Under yesterday’s dark outlook, problems appeared everywhere. All around me were tigers.

Today, everywhere there are solutions and gifts. All around me are treasures.

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I control the weather with moods, yet can I control my mood?

Lord, rule my inner world, touch my heart and transform my outer world.

– from the mountain

Consider:

Can I learn to live apart from my mood?

Reading:

“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little. And if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick. And if we got sick, at least we didn’t die. So, let us all be thankful.” — Buddha

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“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

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“Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.” — Proverbs 12:25 (KJV)

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We are allowed to feel it.

I have been thinking about joy in the midst of trial.

We are allowed to feel it.

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The roof leaks again.

The path is washed out by rain.

Still, berries ripen.

Still, a neighbor brings bread.

Still, a dog rolls in wet grass.

When hardship presses, joy feels off limits. How can you laugh now?

Joy does not erase sorrow. It sits beside it. Joy insists on being present, even so.

I have known fraught mornings when dread crept into the corners of my room. And then the birdsong came into my notice. The moment broke open. Joy entered.

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I once thought I had to choose: joy or sorrow. But the two are not enemies. They walk together.

To feel joy in trial is not to betray suffering. It is to honor life. To say: the rains have not swept me away.

Joy will not wait until the storm is over.

It arrives in the storm.

Will I let it in?

– from the mountain

Consider:

How can I let myself feel joy?

Reading:

“Joy is not in things; it is in us.”

— Richard Wagner

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“The fullness of joy is to behold God in everything.”

— Julian of Norwich

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“These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.”

— John 15:11 (KJV)

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The day beckons.

Dawn breaks, geese cross the sky. The day beckons.

Waiting here, in my rooms, leaning towards you, Lord, and you to me. We whisper.

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Later, mountains will be scaled and fields harvested and rivers forded and gardens grown.

Geese call.

But first, I wait.

– from the mountain

Consider:

Can I give sufficient attention to this waiting time?

Reading:

“To wait is not to be inert. It is to live in the present moment, allowing each breath its own dignity.”

— Jack Kornfield

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“Do not try to force anything. Let life be a deep let-go.”

— Osho

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“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles.”

— Isaiah 40:31 (KJV)

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Let me not.

On a bench, resting at a switchback along an upward path.

Figure after figure appears, crosses, disappears behind the turn. None stop. All press on.

Will I meet them later on my journey, spent in a heap? Is the effort a march of eager joy? Are they readying to turn around?

Judgment creeps through my thoughts.

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Grant my greater love, Lord, that I may look on all with compassion. Who among us has not overtired themselves? Who among us has not needed aid?

I live a life of ease due entirely to your providence. Let me not judge others who are not yet able to see for themselves: all is well.

– from the mountain

Consider:

How can I better accept others completely?

Reading:

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

— Ian Maclaren

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“Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?”

— Marcus Aurelius

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“Judge not, that ye be not judged.”

— Matthew 7:1 (KJV)

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